Be Grateful

22:26 

Beberapa malam ini, jujur saya nggak bisa tidur. Semacam mikirin kayak selalu ada yang kurang dalam hidup saya, selalu banyak yang harus didapat. Jadi agak mellow hasilnya selama beberapa hari, dan suatu malam saya berdoa kepada Tuhan, "Rabb, mohon bimbing saya, mohon tunjukkan jalan yang benar, jalan yang berkah, jalan yang Engkau ridhoi. Dan jadikan saya, hamba yang selalu bersyukur."
Setelah kegalau-an dan kesedihan yang entah bermuasal darimana, malamnya saya bermimpi, teman saya menjadi tuna netra. It sucks out, really. Tuhan menjawab doa saya begitu cepat, lewat mimpi, yang singkat tapi sangat melekat. So, pelajaran pertama yang membuat saya tidak bisa mengingkari nikmat-Nya, yakni alhamdulillah saya sehat jasmani rohani, tanpa kurang satu apapun.
Pelajaran kedua, datang 2 hari kemudian. Saya dipanggil mendapat tawaran mengajar privat, anak SD dan SMA. The things that makes me so surprise is mereka keluarga yang sangat cukup secara finansial, tetapi mereka sangat kurang akan kebersamaan, kehangatan dan kenyaman keluarga. Seriously ini bukan kayak di sinetron rasanya, karena saya ngalamin sendiri, rasanya rumah itu penuh tapi sepi tawa, sepi akan kehangatan keluarga. Dan yang harus saya syukuri lagi, I've never been experienced that occasion, I hope not. My mom cherish me alot, protects me alot, loving me that much. Singkat kata, keluarga saya kecil, sederhana, tapi saya nyaman berada disana, seperti kembali ke rumah. Keluarga saya adalah rumah saya. Tempat berpulang, tempat teraman dan ternyaman di dunia. That's how family should be.
Once again, Iam really grateful. Thanks God, giving me a way for experiencing, understanding, give a meaning of every seconds passed by. Thanks

With Laughter or With Tears

will the skies remember all of our times together
in the days far ahead, will we have different fates?
I used to say that there's no tomorrow and that today, I love you
I only had today so my heart felt so rushed
If i didn't tell you that I loved you back then
would we have been happy?
If i didn't tell you that I loved you back then
would we have been happy?

Now I'm finally living a different life
Now we can't call ourselves "us" when it's not "us" anymore

(Derive from translated song "with laughter or with tears")

Thinking Of You (Terinspirasi Ost Drama I miss You)

Dibuat saat pembacaan LPJ

 

21^st of June, 2013 (Mubes Time)

That day, will be the reason for me to recall memories

To mersmerize all of the seconds we shared

Don’t you know how much seconds pass by without you?

Don’t you know I got so many things (include all of the emotions, sad, happy, tears, struggle, etc)

I thought, we were so so far away apart, but at every seconds I walk by

It seems I know you much better,

I know you without communicating each other,

Know you a lot

By looking others eyes, Iam thinking of you

By looking other expressions, I remember the way you express your emotions

By looking everybody talk, I remember your jokes

By looking rain fall heavily, I remember the precious time we shared.

Satnite Post

Sabtu, 25 Mei 2013
Night after rain falling heavily, I write this letter for someone special in my future, for my mate, for the one that would spend his whole life with me. If this post blew by the wind, I hope you'll be in good state. Always upgrade yourself, be strong, and be kind person. Be the one that get along easily with others, take care every seconds and minutes so that can be a really-wise man hehehe. A good namja (red-man) is the one that can handle everything in his own, although every matters can't be done easily, promise you must really learn to be so-so-so responsible :DD. In this time period, lets call it proccess, lets learn on our own, be more shopisticated person in managing our life, lets give the best in our seconds pass by. Lets life hard yaah. This is my post my wish, hope you (by any ways) read it ^^

Ketemu Superman

Sabtu, 18 Mei 2013
Gue lagi sakit ceritanya, kata dokter satunya parotitis. For making sure gue nyari dokter lainnya, aslinya sih mau dapet obat yang beda aja. Berangkatlah gue (dengan pakaian komplit+masker, gaya orang kena virus-red) ditemani temen kos yang baiiik banget (ranti-red). Waktu berangkat, antri, dan konsul sama dokternya, there is no problem, yah biasa dokternya agak nakut-nakutin. Begitu pulang, eh tiba-tiba motornya gak bisa dinyalain, dengan kondisi temen gue yang lemah, gue apalagi walhasil motor gak bisa nyala.
Temen gue : "Kayaknya kita harus nyari bantuan deh" (Muka hopeless)
Gue           : (Muka innocent, sambil celingak-celinguk kanan kiri, ngeliatin satu rumah, ngintip-ngintip
                   berharap ada pertolongan)
Tiba-tiba... Wuuussh!! Mas-mas yang gaya-nya kayak Agung Hercules+tato muncul bak superman. Ia lari tunggang langgang menyelamatkan motor yang dianiaya dua cewek amatiran. Dengan rambut berkibarnya satu oglekan langsung grrrrng (menyalalah motor). Tanpa banyak ba-bi-bu dia pun lari secepat kilat, mirip superman daaah. Dan muka gue sama temen gue shock tapi berterimakasih banget sama superman yang mirip agung hercules tadi. Impression-nya, akhirnyaa kita ketemu superman beneran meski versi agung hercules :DD hihihi

Get a message

3 April 2013 pukul 20.41

Suddenly get a message from my friend, that one of my friend’s dad had passed away. What do you think in that condition? What would you say? Trying to utter deep condolences, Yapp thats right. Iam ever done that phase in one of my life scene. That day, I cried a lot, my heart felt torn apart. Tetapi satu perasaan yang mungkin tidak bisa saya mengerti juga kala itu, saya dengan tulus ikhlas atas kepergiannya. Thats from me, sincere Dad. Saya yang waktu itu belum genap 17 tahun bisa berpikiran seluwes itu, saya bangga dengan ketabahan saya kala itu. In my mind àBeliau, ayah saya, sudah melewati banyak scene luar biasa dalam hidupnya. Which is happiness, thoughtful, hard, ruteless, and so on. Being in so much pain, couldn’t afford anything, lose ability and agility, He must be shocked severely. I know it Dad, I know you are in such lousy condition. Thats why Allah take you back, placed you in a more beautiful place than my place right now. Start from that day, start from my sincerity of your d-day, I promise that My self will be stronger than whoever, will be thoughtful than anybody else, will take care of my self well. Will also protect and bring happiness and joyous for Mom. I’ll do that, I promise. So, be happy there Dad, be safe there. Amiin.

#For all of my friends in same state like me, be stronger than anybody ever, be thoughtful than anybody else, be mature and stay stand on yourself. Believe that you can fly.

Life without worries

Could be anybody life without worries? Live in peace without anything scared of. Kalau dapat saya ingin. 

Ada beberapa hari dalam satu minggu yang selalu saya cemaskan. Selalu saya takutkan, pada akhirnya saya melewati hari itu seperti ketakutan akan nightmare, dan bersembunyi di suatu ruang. Ruang gelap yang saya bangun, yang saya konstruksikan untuk ketakutan saya pada hari-hari yang lain. Begitu seterusnya hingga saya terbiasa bersembunyi. Bersembunyi, bersembunyi dalam ketakutan dan kecemasan. Have you ever felt that way? I guess, If that condition comes to me, It means Iam so so far away from My God. Reflect yourself then.